Radical Counselor

our job is basically
to be aware of the obvious.

this may make you laugh
but it's true.

it does not matter that we have delusions
as long as we are aware of them.

most people
    ARE NOT
        aware of their own fears
                 vanities desires sadness

but if you are cognizant
of this stuff
(and it's not hard, just acknowledge it)
everything becomes clear
and feels right
and you don't care particularly what happens next
and you may not feel great, or even feel calm
but you will know you are right
because there is no wool over your eyes
and no need to hide away from
what was in your face the whole time.

trust what you deeply feel is right.

that is what is obvious
even if most people want to stray from such truth.

translation--
just stop being fucking serious

it is trickery that keeps us involved
keeps us interested
when there really is nothing at all
to be tricked by.

there is nothing at stake.

when you realize that no one is smarter than you
or deserves anything anymore than you do
your life changes
and you settle down.

people are full of shit
just because they don't acknowledge
that nothing is really going on.

there is something very fundamental about all this.

and it makes it so that when you forget the obvious-
THAT THERE IS FUCKING NOTHING AT STAKE HERE
-it's not that big a deal.
relax and you will come to your senses
naturally.

so there's no need to judge people
all that harshly
somebody can be a motherfucking terrible person one day
and then be fine the next
as long as they wake up to the fact
THAT NOTHING MATTERS
             (and that is the best news possible)

we struggle cause we believe in things
                                             substantial
when nothing is really like that.

sure
   if you're hungry
   eat

and if you're cold
   get warm

but there is nothing behind these facts
no underlying principle that unifies the world
into right and wrong and into a
                     we must do this
                    or we are all fucked
                                      type of mentality.

that's all horseshit.

the best news possible
is that there is no news
ever
and we never learn a thing
because we don't have to.

that's why we hear phrases like
we are all god's children
just cause we are
and it's not worth making a fuss over
                                            necessarily
but we need to acknowledge it
somewhat
at least.

so,
personally to acknowledge
REALITY
i negate things.
i don't build things up
i cut them down
because therein lies the truth.
we fall back
into reality
and realize
          oh yes
            it was here the whole time.

now traditionally
words
and logic
can't do this that well.

so we cannot be too logical and
too wordy and still
effectively
NEGATE.

just negate.

that is crazy wisdom.
because we have to be alive to prove death
and we have to burn to prove the presence of water.

if you don't follow me
you are just thinking too hard.

listen
don't you understand that
i am
      shy?

i do not like being out there
i am a humble little fuck
and i like to be quiet

why there are videos like those below
is to show you
how fucking fun your life should be

don't act like an emotional retard
have fun

if you are not doing stuff
like the videos below
and you don't feel all that good
it's your own fucking fault

act stupid
act retarded
stop being serious
start being shit
and learn how to love yourself

it is easy
as fuck

you can do it
alone
or with people

just fawking do it

start where others end

go with what you feel
trust your gut
don't be a whore to anything
except your emotional instinct.

your emotional intuition
    (what feels "right")
is not always right
but it usually is.

you can trust it.

you cannot consistently trust
your thoughts
your rationality
your emotional pulls
              and pangs
and ups and downs

but you can have utter faith
in your emotional intuition
your gut intuition is usually right
and will naturally
quickly correct itself when it is wrong

this is how you become good at communicating
with yourself and others
don't trust your thoughts
trust
WHO YOU ARE.

i don't look down to you
        even though i use tough words against you
and i don't expect you to look down to me
          even though i am self-degrading sometimes

we are friends.

this mutual appreciation and understanding
is much better 
than any deep therapy
or mantra
we could do together.

that i know of at least.

most of us
             (me)
just want some real rapport
  an easygoingness
        that is not forced

i won't vilify you
because i wouldn't know how
to do it
         seriously
and i have never seen anybody
who can really hang a hook
like they mean it.

violence is just a misunderstanding
                         - byron katie,or mohammed,or your mom

do i like using strong language?
not particularly.
i don't like appearing foul,
or in bad taste.

but unfortunately
                    (fortunately)
certain situations call for certain actions
in order to clear the air.
sometimes the earthy and the sublime
can't be differentiated.
sometimes you grab a bottle of water to drink
and realize it's actually vinegar
                                  and spit it out
                                           just like that.

if we get stupider every day
we are doing something right.
if we become lazier
it is to be praised.

ever since i can remember
      as far back as when i was a little kid
intellectually i have been on the outside
looking in
and i always wondered what was inside
and had the sinking suspicion
it was nothing
worth making a fuss over.
so after a while i stopped looking in pretty much altogether
and wandered off to see what was on the outside.

we love to make excuses
because we are hookers
             of death and whining
i personally love making excuses
and bitching
and being a bitch
and a pain
and a fuck.

but this is not real

your life is but a dream
and when you realize that 
you have no choice
but to humble the fuck up
and act with some common sense
and see that the bravado is
nothing but horseshit
and all the trying and striving and pain
means nothing
and sacrifice is just another word
for delusion
and that if you ever meet a person
who is decent
know too
that they have told a lie
and that the thieves
have loving mothers
and we all have our druthers
and i can rhyme
like it's a crime
and turn cartwheels
on a dime
     (no i can't)

who am i?
i am the one who hates
who knows why you don't like
your life
job
spouse
kids

i am the murder inside you
the pain
the blood
and the fear
the fear
the fear
         ha.

the reason most people don't like their life
is because....
their life sucks.

their job sucks
their relationships suck
even their kids suck
and they KNOW THIS.

we are unhappy
because we 
****CHOOSE*****with fucking big stars ya fuckin faggot
to be unhappy
we choose.
just how like i chose to have cream in my coffee
this morning.

everything
             everything
is a personal
decision.

most people settle for shit.
instead of settling for the stars.
and then they are surprised when they don't feel good

and gosh jeeash um fuck yeah

well maybe you should have stopped acting 
like a faggot
if you actually wanted to feel good
decent and 
alive *************

now for me 
a humble sinner
feeling good
              settling for the stars
                               and feeling decent
aren't all that different from each other
cause feeling good/great/fuck
                                    yes
                                         i
                                          feel great
is
all pretty much the same.
i mean nothing is special
     (THERE IS NO SPECIAL STATE OF MIND
                                                  - UCHIYAMA)
but they are all worlds apart
FROM FEELING LIKE SHIT.

self help/spirituality is
NOT ABOUT FEELING GREAT AS MUCH
AS IT IS ABOUT NOT FEELING LIKE SHIT.

i don't care how you feel,
as long as you don't feel mentally bad.
if you feel mentally bad
there is a problem
FOR YOU.
        (and no one else.)
so you created the problem
now fucking end it.

aw-right puppy cat dog?

*********88BUT TIM HOW DO I FIX IT

IT'S SO HARD************

shut up faggot
it's not hard.
sbs is just one of  8,217 ways of fixing yourself.
stop making excuses
and being a whiny bitch

so what happens is we fall in love with the darkness.
because we realize it is not BAD.
at all.

and while it is not good either
what's important is that it's not bad
     all pleasure is relief-
                                bill burroughs

so yezz it's like that.


i am gonna make some generalizations here
about the billy goats gruff and the seven dwarves
and all the blackies in the fields....

we grew up with horror stories
most of us did
                  firmly
firm firm stories of evil
and so when we realize
     *(mb when we stop being sir sir serious*****

we go
        HOLY FUCK

we made all that evil shit up

nigger bunnies
        be damned

this is how i look at darkness
it is
smooth
contemplative
elegant
i regard darkness as a state of utter tranquility.

so when i say fuck you
it's no different than giving someone a hug
because it's not personal
we are just communicating emotionally
with what is around us.

some woman the other day
starts honking for me to start driving
at a stop signal
even though it's a red light.

i don't do anything.
she keeps honking. 
i turn around slowly and give her the finger.
i hold my hand in the air
for ten seconds.

she keeps honking.
the light turns green
but i'm facing her with my finger up.
i do it for a few seconds more
then i turn back around and start driving.

maybe i shouldn't have done that.
maybe the woman shouldn't have honked
in the first place.
but i'm not mad at the woman
and i'm not mad at me
we were just communicating

and if she wanted to escalate things
by doing something crazy
          like take a golf club to my car
          or pulling out a bazooka
i would have known how to pull away
and calm things down.

i'm not afraid to play with a small fire
because i know how to contain it.
only a fool
would play with danger
that was obviously danger

most of the time
i am trying to
only gently subdue.  
but occasionally you have to be
the strong aggressor.
not to prove a point
but just to be truthful

i will roll over like a puppy ten times
but if you keep on acting like a fuck
you're gonna get bit.

just don't be rude
it's nice to be polite
                     mostly.

SO YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM

cause i might seem so negative
and sound brutally negative
but usually i am the happiest person in the room
despite my thoughts very often being a tad dark.

i mean i feel fucking GOOD most of the time
and by that i mean probably better
than you feel right now.
i'm not saying that to gloat
or because i'm special
                   (no one is remotely special)
but to make a larger point

ya see
my viewpoint is that i should ALWAYS be happy
ALWAYS

i have set that standard for myself
and i keep it there
and
   so....

i am pretty much always happy
on a deep level.
a word for this is
fulfillment
another is
      kamikaze nigger bears

i don't care what you call it
i just know that i expect to feel good
pretty much all the time
and that if i feel bad it is MY FAULT
on a deep level
and no one else is responsible
except me
for my happiness

BUT tim then why are you always complaining
                 crying bitching moaning howling screaming
                   cursing accusing justifying faggoting
                      ?

because i like to.
and i don't take it seriously.
that's it.
and that's what sbs is in a nutshell.
that and articulating the general theory of how
to start
    and then easily continue
taking your life less seriously.
true self-help.
it's an easy teaching
   (this blog on the other hand is a brutal teaching.)

so let me get salesmany on your ass-
if you are reading this
and you have not seen sbs
you are an idiot.
and i mean that
       smile smile

why are you so masochistic?
sbs goes down smooth
this goes down like bad medicine...

   but tim it's expensive, it's EXPENSIVE

bullshit.

what's expensive is wasting your life away on
drinks, pills, excuses, bad movies, dumb magazine
subscriptions, parking fines, cable tv, craft beer
and general queerness

if you can't spend $100 on something that will
actually
  CHANGE YER FUCKING LIFE
i don't know what to say

i spent over $6000 on self help material in the course
of two years

that was almost a tenth of my total income over those two years
and it's some of the best money i ever spent
and you can't spend one hundred bucks?

i'd be giving it away for 400.
so i doubt you will get my
******VIBE****
unless you watch sbs
or know me personally
cause i only get away being the most negative person in the room
by also being the most positive.

and if you still think i'm a negative heartless nihilist
you can go fuck yourself.
it goes without saying i love you